#002 | Between Seasons

Seeking Him in the Midst of Divorce

Human existence unfolds in a series of divinely orchestrated seasons, each imbued with significance and spiritual purpose. Some periods bring abundance and flourishing, while others confront believers with trials that test the depth of our faith. The Preacher of Ecclesiastes articulates this cyclical reality with profound insight:

For everything there is a season, and a time for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up.
(Ecclesiastes 3:1–3, ESV)

This passage underscores the universal truth that every season, whether joyful or sorrowful, falls under the sovereign governance of God. The Apostle Paul echoes this doctrine in his letter to the Romans:

…we know that for those who love God all things work together for good, for those who are called according to his purpose.
(Romans 8:28, ESV)

Yet, amid suffering, these assurances can feel distant, even abstract. The intersection of divine sovereignty and human suffering presents a challenge for the believer that is not always easily reconciled. I encountered this tension during one of the most painful seasons of my life: the end of my marriage.

Learning Through Personal Pain

…a time to love, and a time to hate; a time for war, and a time for peace.
(Ecclesiastes 3:8, ESV)

When I entered into marriage, I believed I had found the partner whom God had ordained for me, a union sanctified by divine intent.

Initially, I approached marriage with gratitude, recognizing it as a divine blessing despite my past seasons of rebellion. However, over time, I subtly replaced my devotion to God with an overreliance on my spouse. My gratitude gave way to complacency, and I neglected the fundamental truth that all good gifts originate from Him. Even my participation in corporate worship became superficial; I was physically present but spiritually disengaged. I would allow myself to stay up all Saturday night, which would result in me dozing during the Sunday sermon.

This spiritual misalignment fostered an unhealthy emotional dependence on my wife, burdening her with expectations she was never meant to fulfill. My estrangement from God, coupled with this misplaced dependency, strained our relationship. Seeking solace, I turned to psychological interventions: psychiatrists, medications, and therapy, while continuing to neglect the One who alone offers perfect peace (while I support and encourage Christians to access mental health services, we must do so in lock-step with God). When our marriage ultimately unraveled, I felt abandoned, questioning how a union I believed to be divinely ordained could dissolve so completely. Though many of my questions remain unresolved, I am learning to embrace peace even in the absence of complete understanding. I also acknowledge this is all due to my actions and inability to focus on God.

In retrospect, I recognize that while God did not orchestrate my suffering, He used it as a means of sanctification for His purposes. My idolatrous reliance on my spouse exposed the fragility of a faith not deeply rooted in God. Jesus’ Parable of the Sower poignantly illustrates this spiritual reality:

As for what was sown on rocky ground, this is the one who hears the word and immediately receives it with joy, yet he has no root in himself, but endures for a while, and when tribulation or persecution arises on account of the word, immediately he falls away.
(Matthew 13:20–21, ESV)

This lesson, though painful, has become foundational to my faith. True spiritual stability is found only in God. Now, I strive to cultivate a faith deeply anchored in Scripture and nourished through prayer. Though I remain acutely aware of my human frailty, I have discovered an unshakable peace grounded not in circumstances but in the immutable character of God.

The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.
(Psalm 34:18, ESV)

Suffering, when interpreted through a Christian lens, serves as a refining agent, shaping believers into the image of Christ. While affliction may initially appear senseless, it frequently functions as an instrument of spiritual formation. Throughout redemptive history, God has used our trials for our benefit (when we are willing and obedient to surrender). If we respond obediently, these trials deepen our dependence on Him, purifying us, which prepares us for greater service. As we navigate the shifting seasons of life, may we remain steadfast in the knowledge that God's sovereign hand is always at work, orchestrating all things for His glory and our ultimate good.

Clearing Distractions in Seasons of Busyness

…a time to break down, and a time to build up…
(Ecclesiastes 3:3, ESV)

Periods of busyness, while often productive, can also serve as a distraction from spiritual growth. Though not inherently detrimental, the demands of vocation, relationships, and personal ambitions can stifle our faith if they become all-consuming as my marriage did. Jesus warns of this danger in the Parable of the Sower:

As for what was sown among thorns, this is the one who hears the word, but the cares of the world and the deceitfulness of riches choke the word, and it proves unfruitful.
(Matthew 13:22, ESV)

Intentionality becomes paramount during such seasons. Establishing structured times for prayer and biblical meditation allows believers to reorient their priorities around God’s eternal purposes. Even small disciplines, such as beginning and ending the day in prayer or meditating on a single verse, foster spiritual vitality amidst external pressures.

Job’s discourse reminds us of the futility of departing from God:

He is wise in heart and mighty in strength; who has hardened himself against him, and succeeded?
(Job 9:4, ESV)

Similarly, Jesus affirms the necessity of prioritizing God above all else:

But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you.
(Matthew 6:33, ESV)

To neglect our spiritual disciplines in favor of worldly pursuits is akin to a child who fails to appreciate his blessings until they are removed. True spiritual maturity is demonstrated not only in seasons of comfort but also in times of trial. Are we offering God praise amid life's scorching heat, or, like the Israelites in the wilderness¹, are we longing to return to the very chains from which He delivered us?

When we prioritize time with God, He meets us in our busyness with divine rest and renewal:

Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest.
(Matthew 11:28, ESV)

By fostering a routine of communion with God, even in the busiest of seasons, we find ourselves strengthened and sustained by His grace. Thus, each season, whether marked by suffering, growth, or harvesting, becomes an opportunity for deeper spiritual formation and an ever-deepening reliance on the sovereignty of God.

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Bearing Fruit in Seasons of Growth

“...a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted...”

(Ecclesiastes 3:2, ESV)

There are also seasons when God’s presence and work in our lives become undeniably evident. These are times of spiritual fruitfulness when faith matures and our lives reflect His transformative power. Jesus illustrates this in another parable:

As for what was sown on good soil, this is the one who hears the word and understands it. He indeed bears fruit and yields, in one case a hundredfold, in another sixty, and in another thirty.

(Matthew 13:23, ESV)

But what does it mean to “bear fruit”? Biblically, fruitfulness is not merely outward success or moral improvement; it is the tangible evidence of God’s sanctifying work within us. Paul defines this fruit in Galatians:

But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.

(Galatians 5:22-23, ESV)

Each of these attributes reflects the character of Christ and grows as we abide in Him:

• Love: Selfless care and concern for others, rooted in God’s love for us. (1 Corinthians 13:4-8²)

• Joy: A deep, abiding contentment that endures even in trials, grounded in our hope in Christ. (Romans 14:17³)

• Peace: A steadfast trust in God’s sovereignty, allowing us to rest in Him despite life’s storms. (Psalm 4:8⁴, Philippians 4:7⁵)

• Patience: The ability to endure hardship or wait on God’s timing without grumbling. (Proverbs 14:29⁶, Proverbs 15:18⁷, Proverbs 19:11⁸)

• Kindness and Goodness: A reflection of God’s generosity and compassion extended to others. (Luke 6:35-36⁹, Ephesians 4:31-32¹⁰)

• Faithfulness: Loyalty and steadfastness in our relationship with God and others. (2 Timothy 2:13¹¹)

• Gentleness: Approaching others with humility and a heart of service. (Proverbs 15:1¹², Ephesians 4:2-3¹³)

• Self-Control: Resisting temptation and pursuing holiness in thought, word, and action. (Proverbs 25:27-28¹⁴, James 1:19-20¹⁵)

Spiritual growth does not happen passively. It requires intentional cultivation:

• Abide in Christ daily. Regularly engage with Scripture and prayer to deepen your dependence on Him. (John 15:5¹⁶)

• Examine your heart. Are you displaying the fruit of the Spirit, or do you see anger, frustration, and pride taking root? (2 Corinthians 13:4-5¹⁷)

• Seek accountability. Surround yourself with mature believers who will challenge and encourage your faith. (Proverbs 27:17¹⁸)

• Live out what you learn. When God convicts, respond with obedience. True transformation requires action. (James 1:21-25¹⁹)

Seasons of growth are not times for complacency. They are opportunities to press deeper into God’s calling, using our maturity and gifts to edify the body of Christ.

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Trusting God in Every Season

No season of life is wasted in God’s hands. My divorce, though deeply painful, ultimately redirected my heart toward Him. Whether we find ourselves in trial, transition, or flourishing, our objective remains the same: to stay rooted in His Word and responsive to His Spirit.

Jesus offers this encouragement:

In the world you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.

(John 16:33, ESV)

So I ask you:

• What is the condition of your spiritual soil?

• Are distractions choking your faith, or are you cultivating a faith that endures?

Every season, whether painful, mundane, or abundant, presents an opportunity to deepen our trust in the One who remains steadfast through it all.

Need to talk to a believer?

1. Numbers 14:1-5 (ESV) - Then all the congregation raised a loud cry, and the people wept that night. ² And all the people of Israel grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The whole congregation said to them, “Would that we had died in the land of Egypt! Or would that we had died in this wilderness! ³ Why is the Lord bringing us into this land, to fall by the sword? Our wives and our little ones will become a prey. Would it not be better for us to go back to Egypt?” ⁴ And they said to one another, “Let us choose a leader and go back to Egypt.” ⁵ Then Moses and Aaron fell on their faces before all the assembly of the congregation of the people of Israel.

2. 1 Corinthians 13:4-8 (ESV) - [4] Love is patient and kind; love does not envy or boast; it is not arrogant [5] or rude. It does not insist on its own way; it is not irritable or resentful; [6] it does not rejoice at wrongdoing, but rejoices with the truth. [7] Love bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things. [8] Love never ends. As for prophecies, they will pass away; as for tongues, they will cease; as for knowledge, it will pass away.

3. Romans 14:17 (ESV) - [17] For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking but of righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.

4. Psalm 4:8 (ESV) - [8] In peace I will both lie down and sleep; for you alone, O LORD, make me dwell in safety.

5. Philippians 4:7 (ESV) - [7] And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

6. Proverbs 14:29-30 (ESV) [29] Whoever is slow to anger has great understanding, but he who has a hasty temper exalts folly. [30] A tranquil heart gives life to the flesh, but envy makes the bones rot.

7. Proverbs 15:18 (ESV) - [18] A hot-tempered man stirs up strife, but he who is slow to anger quiets contention.

8. Proverbs 19:11 (ESV) - [11] Good sense makes one slow to anger, and it is his glory to overlook an offense.

9. Luke 6:35-36 (ESV) - [35] But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil. [36] Be merciful, even as your Father is merciful.

10. Ephesians 4:31-32 (ESV) - [31] Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. [32] Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you.

11. 2 Timothy 2:13 (ESV) - [13] if we are faithless, he remains faithful—for he cannot deny himself.

12. Proverbs 15:1 (ESV) - [1] A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.

13. Ephesians 4:2-3 (ESV) [2] with all humility and gentleness, with patience, bearing with one another in love, [3] eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.

14. Proverbs 25:27-28 (ESV) - [27] It is not good to eat much honey, nor is it glorious to seek one’s own glory. [28] A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls.

15. James 1:19-20 (ESV) - [19] Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; [20] for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.

16. John 15:5 (ESV) - [5] I am the vine; you are the branches. Whoever abides in me and I in him, he it is that bears much fruit, for apart from me you can do nothing.

17. 2 Corinthians 13:4-5 (ESV) - [4] For he was crucified in weakness, but lives by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but in dealing with you we will live with him by the power of God. [5] Examine yourselves, to see whether you are in the faith. Test yourselves. Or do you not realize this about yourselves, that Jesus Christ is in you?—unless indeed you fail to meet the test!

18. Proverbs 27:17 (ESV) - [17] Iron sharpens iron, and one man sharpens another.

19. James 1:21-25 (ESV) - [21] Therefore put away all filthiness and rampant wickedness and receive with meekness the implanted word, which is able to save your souls. [22] But be doers of the word, and not hearers only, deceiving yourselves. [23] For if anyone is a hearer of the word and not a doer, he is like a man who looks intently at his natural face in a mirror. [24] For he looks at himself and goes away and at once forgets what he was like. [25] But the one who looks into the perfect law, the law of liberty, and perseveres, being no hearer who forgets but a doer who acts, he will be blessed in his doing.